Here are some customs and traditions, methods and their details for romancing girls from central Europe, Russia and Ukraine. Use these procedures to intelligently and prudently generate excitement and romance in your international relationship.

            Romance is alive and well and living in Russia! While the value of romance has diminished in the west, it has gained importance in Russia and Ukraine. Russian girls understand and appreciate a romantic approach better than any other, and a romantic approach to a relationship is the key to success.

In a romantic approach, the gentleman is interested in the mood, thoughts and daily life of the lady. He is sensitive to her current situation and concerns. His approach courts her behavior and his goal is to anticipate her thoughts and needs and to satisfy them. He should ask himself, “What is she thinking about now and how can I anticipate and help?” Acting on the answers will save her time and trouble, but more importantly will align his behavior and thoughts with hers, a requirement for a lasting relationship.

            Courting is as old as the hills, but it still applies today, especially for Russian-American relationships. Forget the modernist objections to opening doors and ladies first, for they are truly appreciated by Russian girls.

For an initial contact, one should introduce himself with an introductory letter and a photo. The letter may be based on a template letter, but it must be reviewed and modified to suit the recipient. It should include where you found her, why you are interested, what your interests are and why the two of you would be good together. It should be translated into Russian by a professional service (no software translations), as one cannot rely on the English-level rating scales (1-5 typical) of the meeting agencies.

            Some girls receive many letters and have difficulty selecting a good companion for a response. You can tilt the table in your favor in such a case by including a memento with your letter, such as a red rose or stuffed toy teddy bear. An extra like this will always get your letter read and will very likely garner a response.

            Flowers are a key form of communication. Transcending language, flowers speak volumes about care and consideration. One should send at least one bouquet to his sweetheart during courting, in addition to a bouquet and/or gift for birthdays and holidays.

Roses are the romance flowers of choice and red is the traditional color of love. Long-stem roses are preferred, being most rare, and they represent the rarity and innocence of love.

            Lilies and other flowers less romantic but perfect for variety. Send one of these if you previously sent a rose bouquet. Many Russian girls have never seen a lily bouquet and all will be thrilled by the fragrance.

            In Russia, odd numbers of flowers are given for romantic occasions. You should send 11 roses instead of the usual dozen. Actually, any odd number is good and the more flowers in the bouquet the more attention is generated. Even numbers of flowers are only given at funerals.

            Don’t forget your companion’s mother and daughter (if any) on the important holidays. Sending a bouquet or single rose to your girl’s mother shows great class and is the act of a true gentleman. It is sure to get the respect of your girl. Sending a flower or special girl’s package to your friend’s daughter will make a similar statement about your concern and thoughts for the entire future family.

            We recommend you use a flower delivery service that offers photos of the recipient upon delivery. Photos are very revealing, and you might notice the recipient changing clothes between shots to offer you some variety. Email photo delivery with optional reprints is most convenient.

The best advice here is never send gifts through the mail. There are two main reasons for this. First, Russian customs opens parcels and removes items. Many parcels arrive in a different box with the contents rifled, items missing.

Second, import duty is due and payable on receipt of the goods by the receiver. The parcel will not be released if the duty is not paid. The duty is very high, ~50% of the declared value, often a hardship for the recipient.

Although inexpensive items can be sent by post (e.g. books, cassette tapes), we recommend operating locally for items that are more substantial. Send items using a reliable, western (non-Russian) company with a delivery agent in the destination city. If there’s a problem, the western company will be more reachable and more responsive.

            Here are several points to keep in mind when selecting a flower and gift delivery service:

            Use a service that specializes in Russian-American relationships. This can be very helpful as such a company understands the unique requirements of a multi-cultural relationship.

            Use a service that provides delivery by appointment (no FTD style drop-and-run). Delivering goods in Russia is unlike that in the west. Theft and vandalism are rampant and a delivery appointment is the only way to insure the items are properly received.

            Use a service that verifies the recipient’s ID upon delivery. Identity fraud does occur and an independent ID check is invaluable for determining if a recipient is legitimate.

            Use a service that provides the delivery reaction via a personal meeting with the recipient. For developing relationships, every independent opinion is valuable. A service that passes the delivery agent’s observations back to you by Email is preferred. You can get a good and candid look at someone’s personality with this extra information. You may discover the recipient is curt and disrespectful or pleasant and hospitable, inviting the delivery agent in for tea and dinner.

            Use a service that accepts credit cards. Don’t send Western Union funds to Russia or Ukraine as a method of payment. Once the money is sent it’s gone, and you’ll have no recourse should a problem arise. Use a credit card, as the credit card company offers support in case of a dispute.

            Use a service that keeps credit card info in the west. It’s an unnecessary risk to release charge card info overseas. Use a US or Eurpoean-based company that operates their business office entirely from inside the country. Beware of companies that operate in Russia and use a credit card clearing house in the west. You can’t be sure where your information is or will really be stored.

            Here are the important gift/sweetheart’s holidays for communicating with Russian girls.

            Feb 14, 20xx            Valentine’s Day, the western sweetheart’s holiday

            Mar 8, 20xx            International Women’s Day, honors all women, internationally recognized

            April 20, 2003     Modern Easter, gift holiday in the west

            April 27, 2003     Russian Easter, gift holiday in Russia, Ukraine

            Dec 25, 20xx     Modern Christmas, major gift holiday in the west

            Jan 1, 20xx     New Year, major gift holiday in Russia, Ukraine

            When money is needed to support your sweetheart and her communication, use the following rules as a guide.

            Send by Western Union direct to the recipient, no middleman or agency. The English spellings of her first and last names are required.

            Send small amounts. $100-200 is enough for communication purposes. The Western Union price break is at $100, so this is a good starting point.

            Send larger amounts only after the recipient has been met in person. There is no need for transfer of large amounts initially. Letter writing, Emailing and photographing are not overly expensive.

Do not send money for extravagant items, such as fur coats, wedding preparations, auto accidents, hospitalization, old debts or any other purpose except Internet cafe communication, before the recipient has been met in person. Doing otherwise, even for a sincere companion, sets you up for large expenditures later.

Use bank wire transfers for cities where no Western Union office exists. Ask the recipient to open a dollar account in a bank that does not require an initial deposit (research several banks). Some banks will receive and distribute funds without an account. Then funds can be wired and received in 1 day. The wire transfer fee is high, ~$50, so this should be used infrequently and for larger amounts of $500 or more.

Here are some tips and techniques for communicating with girls from central Europe, Russia and Ukraine. Use these methods to enhance understanding and provide a basis for a lasting relationship.

            Use a letter forwarding service when writing to Russia or Ukraine. Although it’s possible to send a letter to Russia or Ukraine by international post, it can be a problem if the letter comes to the attention of customs or the postal department. They often target and open mail from western countries looking for enclosed cash. This causes some percentage of letters to be lost or discarded in the post. A better choice is to use a specialty letter forwarding service that can post or deliver the letter directly in the destination city. This is the safest letter communication method, as it eliminates postal interference. Often the service can include one or more color-printed photos with the letter and some can take a photo upon delivery and return it by Email.

            Write in Russian if your recipient has difficulty translating English. Its important letters be fully understood, so if there’s any doubt as to the English proficiency of the recipient, have the letter translated before sending. Don’t rely on the 1-5 scale used to rate English ability, as this number is supplied by the recipient on agency application and is not checked by meeting agencies.

            Use a quality translation service to translate letters. The service should use a two-step, translate/proofread process to translate, and should use a native-language speaker for the translation or proofing. In particular, don’t use a software program to translate English into Russian, as the result is 95% comic gibberish. The programs generate incorrect translations at best and mangled translations at worst.

            There is only one chance to make a first impression. Include an ‘attention-getter’ when sending a letter, especially when contacting someone for the first time. This will insure recipients receiving many letters read your letter. An excellent addition is a professional photo of you, scanned and color-printed. This helps remove anonymity, putting a face to the letter. Another good option is to send a long-stem rose with the letter. This gets the letter read immediately, and is a sign of serious intentions. One could also include a small toy, teddy bear or bunny rabbit, which will forever be kept as the first and most important gift of a lifelong relationship.

            Use a 3-way, interpreted telephone service to communicate personally in another language. Talking by telephone is an excellent way of maintaining and solidifying a new relationship. Use a 3-way call translation service when necessary to insure 100% understanding during the conversation. The best services use only native Russian-speaking, female interpreters for Russian-American fiancée conversations. The girls have the best insight into the sincerity of the recipient and can pass this along. Ask for a debriefing after the call, to get the interpreter’s opinion of the conversation and recipient.

            Here are some topics for use during telephone conversations. Ask everything about her and forget about yourself. Get as much info as possible.

            Discussion topics:

                        What is your typical day like?

                        Where is your apartment?

                        Do you live with your parents?

                        Do you have any brothers or sisters?

                        Can you talk privately?

                        What is your idea of life in the USA?

                        Do you want children?

                        Do you want any more children?

                        If it’s not a secret, how old are you?

                        Did you go to the university?

                        What is your field of study?

                        Are you religious?

                        Do you like cats?

                        What does a girl wear when meeting her future fiancée for the first time?

                        How should a man dress when meeting his fiancée for the first time?

            In addition to the above, look for a translation service that specializes in Russian-American relationships. This will help in focusing on viable companions. It’s also convenient if the company accepts credit cards. Don’t use a service that takes your credit card overseas. Use a US or western company.

            Here are some key phrases and their pronunciation in Russian:

            Hello <formal>                                   zdrastviytye

            Nice to meet you                       ochyen’ priyatna

            Hello <familiar>                                  priviet

            Good morning                         dobraye utra

            Good afternoon                                   dobriy dyen’

            Good evening                         dobriy vyecher

May I speak to <name>                        budtye dobri <name>

How are things?                          kag dyela

Thank you                               spasiba

Goodbye <familiar>                   poka

Until we meet again                    dosvidanya

            The key to a successful relationship is good communication. With a mutual understanding mistakes can be avoided and positive relationships can be identified. Use the above tips to communicate with words, gift and actions in combination, and you’ll be on track to success.